“me” time

Sometimes the Internet makes things too easy. I had a whole rant prepared about “me-timers,” precisely the same people who feel the need to stop, drop and “recharge their batteries.” But then I found this:

So it seems, in mathematical form:

(Me Time) = (James + Blunt) x (KT + Tunstall) x (Bathtub + HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM)

= (Die + Plz)

Don’t get me wrong: There is nothing in the WORLD wrong with the bathtub or drinking whole bottles of wine in the bathtub or being alone in the bathtub. Or being alone period. The funny thing is, the people who talk about needing “me time” are probably the ones who need it the least. They’re the same kinds of people who write mission statements for themselves and paste song lyrics on their walls, their favorite being, “If you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.”

Oh yeah? I hope you drown. In your “me-timey” bathtub.

Tags: bath-math, bubbles, me-me-me-me, singer-songwriters