EURO-TWIT DOUBLEHEADER: “across the pond” and “the continent”

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this is why “across the pond” DOES NOT WORK AS LANGUAGE:

not a pond.

1. the atlantic ocean is not a pond. in fact, according to enchantedlearning.com, the area of the atlantic is approximately 33,420,000 square miles. oh, and it’s 12,881 feet deep, on average. how how low can it go? TRY OVER 28,000 FEET.

2. according to wikipedia, “a pond is a body of water smaller than a lake.” and i’m pretty sure that lakes are smaller than seas are smaller than oceans.

thus. going “across the pond” is not a hop, nor a skip, nor a jump away, as your average cosmopolitan jetsetter with a pashmina would have you believe.

secondly, let’s talk about people who refer to europe as “the continent.” yes, these silly intellectuals exist, and many of them carry moleskine journals around with them to prove it. one of my oxford-educated colleagues, who now lives on an island near the continent called the united kingdom, once had to endure an afternoon in a DC coffee shop spent listening to a table full of east-coasters discuss the superiority of “the continent.” other topics of conversation included: the inferiority of the american midwest, something about how no one in the state of missouri can make a good cocktail, and another something about how homeless folk are loathsome.

please: if you refer to europe as “the continent,” please kindly step across the pond and live on said continent. THX.

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6 Responses to “EURO-TWIT DOUBLEHEADER: “across the pond” and “the continent””

  1. annierebekah Says:

    YES. THANK YOU.

  2. jamie Says:

    No wonder they hate us over here. 😉

  3. German Kiddo Says:

    You stupid person. “The continent” is not detestable as a phrase. It’s common sense when living in Europe: You have them spiffy islands all over the place (yes moron there are more islands than GB and Ireland) and “The Continent” which includes the remainder of Europe.

    Maybe it’s time to admit it: You’re one of those East Coast fucktards.

  4. tubcat Says:

    Dear German Kiddo,

    1. I never disputed that there are “more islands than GB and Ireland.”

    2. I can’t be an East Coast “fucktard,” because I’m actually from the Midwest. And though Ohio likes to refer to itself as “the heart of it all” because of its shape, I would never call it “the Heartland.” Also, I don’t own a moleskine journal and never will.

    3. Similarly, I stand by my statement that using “the continent” as a reference to continental Europe is pretentious. Yes, it’s technically correct (unlike “across the pond”), and I’ve even seen the New York Times use it before. But why not opt for specificity and say “Germany” or “France” or (now) “Kosovo?”

    4. Also, there happens to be more than one continent. This is similar to calling New York City, “the city.” It’s pompous. Period.

  5. boygeorge Says:

    Agreed, tubcat.

    Hopefully German Kiddo will refrain from any further douchebaggery.

  6. German Kiddo Says:

    Nice and longish answer. However total BS if you ask me.

    You guys are not European – I am. So trust me: both terms are very common over here and do make sense from a European perspective. That is a period.

    I admit you guys may poo on anyone from the States who uses either phrase because they’re just trying too hard to be spiffy Europeans. So keep on poopin there – some Americans do deserve it.

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